Dear Family and Friends,
How are you? The fam? As we crank up for summer, Boca thought…hmm- nip and tuck or travel? Since it has been said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and Bubs eyes are pretty bad, I said what the heck. Ah, I remember the day when a little Maybelline, some Bonnie Bell lip gloss and a spray of Ambush did the trick. Now my bathroom looks like it is channeling Sephora. Indeed, how many tubes of anti-aging serum can one lady hoard? The indignities of aging. In Naples, the Women’s Manifesto is akin to trading baseball cards, includes swapping numbers of who can fix what- the never ending and big dig for that fountain of “yute".
Missed the Boca and Bubba annual trek last year but this year Bubs is on the mend…finally? sort of? better than last week? Well, we are going anyway. So I have engineered (along with our ever so patient patient and calm travel agent Cheri -pronounce Shari as in Shari Baby) a summer escapade to make up for last summer sitting around this swamp. Cheri came up with an algorithm to figure out where we wanted to go. She said the Fibonacci method wasn’t complicated enough.
Besides I couldn’t take any more wedding planning. Yes, our daughter is getting hitched next year - April 14 to be exact. I told Bubs to start saving his schekels as it will probably hurt. I heard him mumble something like…what’s wrong with eloping? Which exemplifies the adage- “be careful what you wish for!”. So Alexandra and Eric started the plans with getting married on the beach sans church- "OH NO NO NO!", said Papa Bear. And the next thing you know my checkbook is on the table and so it goes-St. Katherines here we come. Wedding Planner- who knew there were so many flavors and contracts? And speaking of contracts we are becoming Jr. Lawyers reading, negotiating and signing all these vendor contracts. The first 3 photographers we wanted were already booked and same for the bands- over a year in advance? Heard about some florist disasters- some bait and switch going on- showing the "bride to be" the sample flowers but in fact delivering something else the day of the wedding. Lighting (is this a rock concert?), event decor (event?), favors (the party is not enough?), what’s an after party?, clothing (let the dieting commence), invitations (who knew paper was going for the price of gold), wedding cake/grooms cake (no guns or bullets said one baker), wedding party (yes, 8 children in this extravaganza- started with one bridesmaid now 5), trying to say yes to the dress ($$$ we don’t need to go on a vacation next year Bubs), make-up and hair (must do a practice session to make sure the bride doesn’t look hookerish on the day of), rehearsal dinner (on the water, near the water, in the water?), brunch (millennial cure for hangover), what’s a first peek? (what do you mean he doesn’t see you for the first time at the church!), videographer ( you mean Francais Ford Coppola is busy?)- so we are in process of planning. The invite list has become a longer version than the Naples Phone Book (yes they still pass those out in my sweet village). Who’s on first?
On the other hand if Eric and Bubba were in charge we’d see:
There would be less "Oh Promise Me" and "Endless Love," and more "Louie, Louie" and "Mony Mony”.
There would be a "Rehearsal Dinner Kegger”.
Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops. They would have NO tan lines and more skin showing than not.
Tuxes would have the Camo pattern.
Big slobbery dogs (Roxy) would be eligible for the role of "Best Man”.
There would be "Tailgate Receptions”.
Ceremonies would be short and Honeymoons would be long.
The brides dress would show cleavage, her navel and be form fitted to her derrier.
Instead of a sit down dinner or a buffet, there would be a hog roast or buckets of chicken, pizza and plenty of bar-b-que.
And the perfect wedding cake…...
Their hope is that one day Nick will be the shining star with some REAL wedding fun. Let the planning unfold. In the meantime, Bubs and Boca are going to high tail it across the pond before every last schekel gets spent on, see the above. So if you are in the mood for another Bubba and Boca travel adventure please feel free to peek in on the where abouts of the couple celebrating 41 years of wedded bliss- or something like that…click to the blog and feel free to sign up for the shenanigans to be delivered to your mail box. Itin on the calendar. Is Greenland and Iceland ready for a visit from Bubba and Boca??? We leave on Tuesday June 12…..and please let us know what you are up to!!
Have a wonderful, joyous, fun and exciting summer.
Love,
xxxxx
PACKING....Boca reminds Bubbs that he probably could use a few more pairs of slacks. After spending an afternoon at Bass Pro shop- he is very pleased with his purchase and ready to roll- while Boca continues to wait to fit into that thong from 1976..... she calls the newspapers, bug man, pool man, yard man, Netflix, xfinity, post office, AT and T, Geico, and on and on to let them know the game plan. So all of you people mooching off my Netflix- you'll have to wait till we get back.
Bubs suggests not to worry about his packing methods and to get back to working on my to do list...
Bubs has been packin for the past 2 weeks, which includes ordering 2 months of vitamins and supplements- $500 a month x 2! Weighing in at 21 lbs. and taking up most of his carry on bag.
He is very handy with rubber bands too...you are bringing your own air freshener??? We are going to Europe not Kathmandu.
Cheri (FEARLESS TRAVEL AGENT) as in Cheri Amore not Shari Baby- as she pointed out, AGAIN- stops by to go over the gazillion pages of trip stuff-filling the gift Back Pack. I think the real reason she stopped by was to make sure that we had the right PASSPORTS. Lots of moving parts to this particular trip Bubs- in the city, on the boat, off the boat, in the city, land touring, on the boat, off the boat, more land touring- planes, boats, cars, trains, tour buses, ice machines, and I am sure a donkey or two. Bubs you are in charge of the documents- don't mess it up! And for the love of God, leave your dang pocket knives at home!! Good point Cheri.
So if you would like to borrow any of his gardening books ....and QW neighbors, when you are in the mood for some fresh mint, basil or whatever else he is growing in those boxes by all means feel free to pop by and have at it. Sure glad he had to get a garden going before we leave for the summer.....
